God doesn’t disappoint us, people and circumstances do. Then we turn around and blame God. God is the one constant in this life. His Word tells us who He is and He never once fails to be exactly who His Word says He is. Unlike God, none of us have the capacity to be perfect unfailing creatures. I’m learning to digest and embrace this fact. In doing so, I am more understanding, patient and forgiving – towards others and myself. Don’t forget, that we too have, can and will disappoint others as well.
They say be careful what you wish for
Because you just might get it
So its freedom you want?
Are you sure you want to jump into that pit?
Freedom to have sex whenever the urge arises
With whatever partner you choose
Now you’re a slave to your feelings
And there’s not a man or woman you’ll refuse
Freedom to drink as much as you want
And as often as you can
Until You can’t remember the last time
you went a day without a beer in your hand
Freedom to go out with your crew
Doing secret things that no one ever speaks of again
Until someone gets you arrested
Then your lifelong friendships come to an end
Freedom to work and make money
By any means to get to the top
Now you’re selling drugs, and stripping part time
So addicted to the cash it brings, you can’t stop
It’s so easy to worry about any and everything. In fact the devil does his best to get us to do just that. From finances, to relationships, to our kids, to our health, there is plenty to worry, stress over and be anxious about it. In fact things can be going great in your life and yet and still, thoughts of worry can creep up into your mind.
God has been teaching me so much lately and I am happy to say that I have grown to a point that not much really worries me. Thanks and praise go to God, His Word and the Holy Spirit, for teaching me how to pray and not worry. I know for a fact that it was nothing that I did on my own or taught myself to do.
Lately, however, I feel like Satan has become fixated on this area of my life, because he knows that God is strengthening me in regards to prayer. Just when I think I’ve mastered it, and I’ve let my everyday problems, circumstances and issues that arise just roll off my back while I continue to give it all to God, all of a sudden, the devil tries a new tactic – getting me to worry about the future and stuff that could happen. Just these last two weeks, I’ve been plagued with thoughts out of the blue like:
‘when are you going to finally get a new car? you know its going to break down for real next time’
‘you don’t want your son going to public school for middle school do you? that’s when they change for the worse’
‘how are you going to afford to send him to college when he turns 18?’
‘more and more family members are being diagnosed with cancer, what if you’re next’
‘what if your job starts laying off people, you haven’t even begun to rebuild your savings back up’
‘what if you die tomorrow? did you revise your will? is your life insurance current?’
‘what if something bad happens to mom/dad, how are you going to take care of them?’
Time is the one thing we all take for granted in one way or another. This week as my only child completed 3rd grade and brought home several certificates, trophies, a medal for Student of the Year and a straight A report card, I was overwhelmed with excitement, gratefulness and joy. He didn’t know it, but I also had tears – happy tears – just pondering the goodness of God and thankful for His continuous blessings in our lives. I’ve officially been a single mom for the last 4 years and each year that my son and I get through, I look back in retrospect as I marvel at all the ways God has been by our side every step of the way. That’s a story in and of itself, but my point today is “time”.
For the last 4 years, two things have been my sole focus and driving motivation – God and my son. I vowed 1) in spite of all the terrible things I had been through that I would never stop serving God and 2) that I would raise my son the best way I possibly could and teach him to serve God also. He’s 9 years old now, intelligent, funny, extremely active, and has a strong sense of sarcasm that mirrors my own! I don’t miss our mother-son time for anything or anyone. We have our daily routines which include eating dinner together (usually at his Ninja Turtle table and chair set lol), watching one of his favorite shows, and a bed time story / devotions (usually 3 times a week). Then we have our mother/son Saturdays once a month – shopping, a movie, going out to eat, or simply running errands and spending his allowance on something fun like the arcade, skating, or laser tag. But outside of all that, it’s the brief random moments that I love the most. Those times when he says things like “mom, you’re the best”, or in his prayer, he prays for my strength to take care of him, or when he gives me a hug for no reason and says ‘I love you mom’; even those sporadic days when he thinks about his father and says ‘mom, as long as you’re here I’ll be ok’ (tear). Oh, and lets not forget the times of confession – when right before bed he wants to confess something he did wrong that day lol. Read the rest of this entry »